LIfe can be ruff, even more challenging when we are not given the proper education and direction in life. I think that one of the biggest challenges we face today is that we are in a world that takes advantage of lack of education.
As a father I have been guilty of not taking the time to educate my children on certain things. One of the misconceptions today is that our bodies, or how our bodies react defines our sexuality. As a parent I feel strongly that we need to help our children understand from us just how the body works and not from others. As a parent we have a better understanding of our children's needs and we have the greater ability to share and teach things to our children. Things that we might consider sacred and things that others should not teach our children. Often they, outside sources, don't have the best interest in mind for our children to teach them certain things. If we as parents lack in our responsibility to teach our children we should not be surprised with what they come up with.
Personally I wish my Father would have taught me some basic things that I am certain would have been helpful to me. And as I have talked to other men I have found that most men have struggled with the same things and have had the same experiences. Sometimes we think we are the only ones that struggle or have experiences and so we keep them inside and wonder and worry what is wrong.When in reality we are normal men with body parts that do normal things.
The male body is programed to react in certain ways, actually in some pretty strong ways to affection or physical touch. Studies have shown that any kind of affection from any number of reasons can produce reactions to the male body, candidly speaking, erections. The male penis is and can be a very active part of the body. Reacting in the most inopportune times, causing embarrassment and shame. When in reality there is no reason to ashamed. When we come to understand just how the body works, things that are embarrassing and uncomfortable still are embarrassing and uncomfortable, but we can have an understanding that makes it bearable and understandable..
The simple truth is that erections can come and go at random times causing us to feel uncomfortable. Almost every man I have talked to has expressed the same thing. Each has told of experiences of having one of those unexpected moments when you least expect it, your penis stands erect and you feel stupid, wondering if you are normal or not and certainly feeling that everyone will think you are strange. From sitting in a class room and doing nothing and standing up having to bend over or quickly place your backpack over the tent in front. Or patting the dog only to realize it has produced an erection. Have you ever hugged someone, a completely innocent hug and next thing you know you have an erection. There are many occasions that are embarrassing when our man bodies produce erections. I have a friend that says "I cannot control what my body does, but I can control what I do with it". Is not that perfect. Our bodies will do weird things, but we have control what we do with it. It is not a sin or wrong to have an erection, what we do with it is what causes problems.
What our bodies were designed to do should not cause us embarrassment or shame. It should not prevent us from having normal healthy relationships with others and it defiantly should not define who we are. Just because our bodies react does not define us one way or another. When I hug another man and I get aroused, that does not make me a gay man. It does tell me that I have an active body that responds to affection. I think men today are afraid and are often mistaken by assuming certain things because they have a normal body.
I have talked to men who avoid physical contact with other men and even avoid meaningful relationships because of things that have happened to them while in casual contact with other men. How sad to think we would deprive ourselves of meaningful relationships simply because we have an active penis that responds to kindness or any type of physical contact. How sad to think we would define who we are simply because our body responds quickly.
Men, it is normal and common for your penis to react to physical contact, emotional contact, and verbal contact. There is nothing wrong with you or your body, there is nothing to feel uncomfortable or ashamed about because you have a healthy body. Remember you often cannot control what your body does, but you always can control what you do with it. If you stay clean and avoid using your body in an inappropriate way, there is absolutely nothing wrong with erections.
I have found that when it happens to me, I just move forward and ignore what my body is doing and enjoy the physical, emotional, and verbal contact without shame or quilt. I am grateful that I have been able to understand and except the fact that I am normal and have nothing to be ashamed of and in the process I have developed meaningful, healthy, relationships with other men that I have found experience the same exact thing.
Our loving Heavenly Father has given us these amazing bodies to be stewards over and in that he understands completely the challenges we face. He provides ways for us to move forward and enjoy meaningful deep relationships with other men without having to fall prey to the natural man.
I wish my father would have taught me this principle. It would have saved me years of wondering what was wrong with me and I think it would have solved a lot of struggles and personal conflicts I faced as a man who deeply loves other men. In growing to understand I feel blessed to have many great friendships with many men that are like minded in that they to have struggled and now understand. Knowledge often times is freedom.
I hope you are taking the time to develop meaningful, healthy, life changing relationships with other men.
Have a great day. Brad