Unrealistic Expectations

August 21, 2018

 

How often do we go through life with unrealistic expectations.  Expecting things we want and feeling let down when it doesn't happen just how we want it to happen.  

 

I experience  this all the time.  The unrealistic expectations leave me frustrated and often times angry.  Often times these expectations have to do with making friends and connections with others.  

 

Friendship has to be one of the most rewarding parts of life but also the most difficult.  And I think that unrealistic expectations apply to friendships more than any other part of life.

 

My ideal of friendship is an open relationship where sharing is equal and love is shared.  Where the burdens of life can be shared and enjoyed together.  Where we see faults of each other, but in compared to all the good we see it’s ok.  

 

My ideal of friendship is where each sacrifice and each are committed to doing what ever it takes to make the friendship work,  from travel to making time, from affirmations to even healthy criticism when needed.  

 

My ideal of friendship is time spent on both sides building each other.  Reaching out and knowing when the other needs a hug or a kind word.  Making the effort even when it’s not convenient to do things.   Finding great joy in the successes and joys of each other, where there is no jealously or envy at accomplishments and achievements.  

 

So often it seems to me and I am sure there are others that feel the same, that one person is only one committed to the friendship.  It seems all to often that one will make the effort and it is not reciprocated by the other in any way or at least in a way that is expected or needed for the friendship to grow and bless each involved.  

 

I have to say that if that is the case perhaps they are not good friends.  But even in that many claim to be great friends and it leaves me wondering why do we try so hard to  make an honest effort in every way to build the friendships that are often one sided.  

 

For me and a lot of others seems it would be better if the person would just come right out and say “Please don’t put any effort into this, I am not the same page,”   Honestly should apply to making friends and in not making friends.  It is unjust to keep a person hanging on with hope for something that will never happen.

 

Unrealistic expectations,  how do we deal with them?  How do we continue forward when so often we are beaten down by what we expect from others.  

 

For me I have come to realize that we are not all on the same page or place in the journey.  And most are in the same place feeling afraid and leery of connection.  Most build walls to protect themselves from being hurt.  I have to constantly remind myself that friendships take effort and often times, time to grow.  There are those friendships that blossom right from the beginning and all expectations are filled and I have come to appreciate them as special blessings and realize that not all friendships happen instantly and most take great effort. 

 

I have come to understand that expectations are ok, but I have to expect that perhaps the other person is experiencing some unrealistic expectations of their own.  


Yes friendships and connections are fraught with unrealistic expectations.  Life if full of them on every side.  Dealing with them and excepting them  and accepting them is a wonderful part of life.   Learning to be open with others and sharing our expectations help us grow.  

 

Perhaps telling others what we expect helps.  Perhaps sharing our unrealistic expectations with those we are expecting from can and will create those friendships we are seeking and wanting in our lives.  

 

I don’t have the answers,  but I do feel that unrealistic expectations are ok.  They help us move forward if we don’t let them weight us down.  They keep us on our feet and as we deal with them in our own personal lives, I am sure we can not only accept them, but we can come to meet the unrealistic expectations of those around us and in the process perhaps they will meet ours.   And as always as we expect more from ourselves than from others often times we get just what we need.

 

 

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