I receive frequent comments and questions on how men should act and what is appropriate man behavior. I think we are confused in today's world on really what is acceptable behavior for men. So I would like to address 3 of those questions in this blog with more to come, that I feel need to be openly discussed and viewed.
#1 Is it appropriate for men to hug other men?
Absolutely. Hugging is an amazing way to express appreciation, loyalty, admiration, respect, friendship, and yes love. Hugging is also a very amazing way to feel another mans spirit and build a stronger friendship. Hugging actually can be a very personal revealing experience that takes down walls and opens hearts to better communication and understanding.
#2 How long should a hug last and what is considered appropriate and acceptable?
There are of course those quick slap on the back hugs that most men are comfortable with. They last 2 to 5 seconds and it's over. To get the real benefit out of a hug try hugging for more then 15 seconds. It sounds like a short time, but for most men it seems like an eternity. I personally like longer hugs where you actually hold rather then hug. Meaning you hold the other man long enough to feel his spirit and give back. It ultimately depends on the situation. Some times hugs need only last a few seconds, but there are times when a longer hug in needed and appreciated. To be perfectly honest there are men out there that actually need to be hugged and held in a clean Christ like manner. Hugging has an amazing way of filling a need and in the process of filling a need our cups are filled also. I believe that spirits actually communicate with each other in a hug. Did you know that when you hug another person for longer then 15 seconds your hearts actually beat togther in unison.
#3 Do men often get aroused when hugging other men?
Funny thing is, you would not believe how often that happens to men. From a brief arousal to complete erection, it happens. Most men are just to embarrassed to admit it or fess up. It is perfectly normal and you have nothing to worry about. A man's body responds to affection in different ways. If that is one of the ways your body responds, don't freak out, you are just a normal man with a normal working body. Often times men assume that if that happens there must be something wrong with them and 2 things normally happen. The first thing thing they do is they just stop hugging and they keep their distance from other men. The second is they start to think maybe they are gay and they become homophobic. Men! so often the things we deal with and assume we are the only ones who have ever had that happen to, guess what? it happens to most men. Just relax and enjoy the hug and don't worry about whats going on. Remember, you cannot control what your body does, but you have complete control on what you do with it. So ultimately you are in control no matter what your manhood is telling you. Your the boss.
I personally think hugging is a wonderful thing and feel that it is an important part of building strong good friendships. I think you can learn a lot about another man when you really hug him. I feel that hugging actually allows the spirits to communicate with each other. I have learned great things from the men I have hugged and by love for them has deepened as I have listened to what I am learning about them. I also feel you can lift others and share the love you have for them through a hug better than any other way. Often times words just are not enough to express how we really feel and when that happens nothing can compare to a warm loving hug. I personally live for the day when the Savior takes me in his arms and embraces me in a hug with his perfect love. Can you imagine what that will be like. I can and I have come to understand a small part of that feeling when I hug other men who have the same desires that I have.
So to wrap it up, hugging is great, don't let the fact that your body might respond in a way you are not comfortable with keep you from enjoying hugging other men, Don't let what society says about men hugging keep you from hugging other men. How sad to let a little things like that keep you from enjoying the joy that can comes from a real man hug.
Now go find someone to hug and enjoy the experience.